Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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