I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
