i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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