'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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