i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
