Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
