I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
