Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
