what if every blade of grass was a penis?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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