also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
