I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
it glows. i had to have it.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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