before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
