I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Randomize
