Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Randomize
