my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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