used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
