We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
