Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
