Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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