Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
