you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
