Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
