You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
