Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
jump out the window naked night went bad
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