Just mADE A PArabola og urine
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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