How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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