I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
