Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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