I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
