I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
