It's Friday. Sex?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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