Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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