If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
is that a dick in a sweater?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
