I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
