covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Randomize
