One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
She just used a chaser for red wine.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
