I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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