AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
