Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
