Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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