I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
