I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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