The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Randomize
