We need to start having sex underwater more often.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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