How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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