i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
