I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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