No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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