clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
It all started with a game of naked twister.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
