nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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