So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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